I was once agan quoted in a different forum: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?p=1327813 I have no real idea what a tic

Some of you have posted anonymously and may have noticed that your posts weren't showing up. This was because anonymous posters are considered spammers unless they are approved by either myself or my brother.

If Dante were alive and  commuting on the downtown green line this morning, he would have added a tenth circle of hell to the Inferno. Let me explain:

What do Joe Camel and Santa have in common? The government has banned them both and for the same reason... well almost. The New York State Liquor Authority has banned 6 beers from being sold this holiday season. The reason? The labels are too warm and cheery, and the SLA thinks that they may entice underage drinkers to buy it. Ummm. OK. Remember the days of underage drinking? Getting your brother or sister to run to the liquor store for you? Or getting your freakishly hairy 18 year old friend to give it a shot? What was it that we were after? Bud, Coors, Natty Ice or anything cheap enough to get the most beer for your buck. Did any of us say: "Hey I want to spend $5 or $6 A BOTTLE for an imported German Dopplebock? or $5 to $6 A BOTTLE on a domestic Nut Brown Pale Ale?" Are you kidding me with this? Santa and his elves appeal to toddlers and adults alike. But teenagers? What do teenagers think about? Sex, Sex, Food, Sex, Sleep, Sex, Sex, Homework, Sex. And what is the number one image we see over and over again in beer commercials? Hot women, hot guys, boobs, butts, and twins. But put Santa on a label? Outrageous!!! Scandalous!! Think of the children!

No, you read that right. I just turned twenty. I refuse to turn thirty, so I'm doing my twenties over again. But then again, as I look back over my twenties, I realized something: Why on earth would I want to be twenty again? My twenties SUCKED! Holy crap I'm so glad I'm thirty. Thirty is going to be a great year... My last few days as a twenty something were amazing, but the first few days as a thirty something have been much, much better. Ahhh the joys of turning 30,  I woke up, got dressed, and went out to dinner, then I went to a bar, drank tequila after tequila, and almost got punched in the face by an ex-linebacker for the New York Giants... come to think of it, my first day as a thirty year old was exactly like the first day as a twenty year old! Haha, ten years and I haven't learned a goddamn thing.  But having making it out of my twenties alive, I'd like to share some of the lessons I've learned:

Due to pressure from the international community and hippies the world over

May 16, NY, NY - Scientists have been researching a phenomenon that has been sweeping the nation all day: people's brains have been randomly exploding. "We are getting reports from every major city in the US." said Brian Jorkson of NIMH "It starts with a nose bleed, then people hear a sucking sound, then BOOM! Their head explodes. But we believe we found a common link." Just what is this link? The answer is as simple, as it is shocking: All of the brains belong to Democrats.

Manhattan, NY., May 4 - Since "The Great American Boycott" (or "Boycoot" if you're Canadian) began on May Day, supporters of amnesty for illegal aliens have been working hard at not working. "We need a break. Waving flags and screaming for 4 days straight is tough work. We are looking forward to Cinco de Mayo as a day of not working AND a day of partying. I think we deserve it." said one demonstrator.

Midtown, NY April 26 - Robert Toussaint and the Pew Hispanic Center have banded together and created a new workers union: 'Blamelessly Undermining Real Documented Emigrant Naturalization' (or BURDEN for short.) The announcement came from Toussaint's jail cell in mid-town.