Manhattan, April 21 - You've all heard about Paris Hilton's new contract with Gameloft. After a few pulled strings and many sexual favors, WierdCrap is proud to announce that we have an exclusive look at the new handheld game for mobile devices.

A favorite pastime of many households is to bash pharmaceutical companies (especially households with drug-dependant members.) I have family ties to an advertising agency in NYC, and more often than not, debates arise about social issues like soaring health care costs, and the cost of drugs in general. But there are many other reasons, some seemingly sane, and some just plain uninformed. The problem I've faced with my thoughts about these companies is a general lack of "real" information that I can trust as unbiased.

The author of a recent New York Times article titled: Why Stars Name Babies Moxie, Moses and Apple asserts that stars named their children weird crap because they are the new aristocrats of American society. These neuvo-royalty need to name their children Apple, Moses, etc.. because they feel that since they themselves are special, their children's names should be special as well. Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller fame) has named his child Moxie CrimeFighter[sic] and Gwyneth Paltrow's parent's named her Gwyneth, then she in turn named her daughter Apple. But the fun doesn't stop there! Did you know that Gwyneth's Apple wasn't the first Apple? Director Peter Farrelly did it first! So not to be outdown, Mrs. Paltrow named her other kid MOSES! Friggin MOSES! (It would be cool if she actually named her kid "Friggin' Moses," but no such luck.) Children are not pets. Sure they behave and need care like pets do, but eventually they are going to grow up, and be old enough to say: "WHY THE FUCK IS MY NAME MOSES!" What are you going to do then? Sorry Dave, here's some Bullshit for you, Penn Jillette wrote:

Fun With Balloons

So Kelly's last night was guest-listed, and open-bar. True to all the parties at Kelly's that Junior runs: It was LOUD. So I stayed away from the dance floor. I noticed a guy with a balloon tied around his ear. I thought: "Yeah, yeah seen it already." About 20 minutes later I look over, and he has a balloon tied around both ears. So being quite the photog for the night, I decided to have fun with him. Here's how it worked:

Apparently this is catching on. You can send messages to people over the web. You can even call a number from your cell phone and leave a message that I can get on the web... It's a free service too. There seems to be one problem though... who the heck has a microphone hooked up to their computers anymore? I don't have the faintest idea where mine is.. do you? If you do, try sending me a message. I'd love to see how this works... or it may just be another internet fad.