You are standing in line, awaiting the bartender. You sit, you stare, you muscle your way to the front of the bar and you wave your money up and down like a retarded child on crack hoping to grab the attention of someone who is working hard and probably hates your guts. When the tender o' the bar comes up and asks what you want, you were so busy acting pissed that the bartender was taking so long, that you didn't even think about what drink you wanted. You end up walking back to your friends with two bud lights and your tail between your legs because you couldn't think of a drink quick enough. Sound familiar?

With the advent of summer rapidly approaching, coupled with the fact that I am a complete booze-hound, does anyone have suggestions for a drink of the summer? I am sick and tired of the standard mojitos, L.I.T.s, or gimlets. What is a good solid drink to order that won't make me look like the metrosexual that I actually am.

Here are a few of my qualifications:

1. Not too sweet
2. I love vodka, tequila, and whiskey
3. I can deal with rum, gin, and scotch
4. I HATE jagermeister, goldschlager, sambuca etc.
5. Would not come with an umbrella in it.

That's about it. Anyone got something for me?