pick-up lines
In the past two week boys have used the most ridiculous pick up lines I have ever heard on me. Ridiculous enough that I feel the need to share...
1. While I was at the zoo on a field trip with the class I am student teaching for, a guy came up to me and said...."Damn girl, you're the finest animal at the zoo." I'm sure that calling me an animal is going to make me want you on top of the fact that you just tried to pick me up in front of 25 six-year-olds.
2. "Hey baby, let's play house...you can be the door, and ill slam you." This one obviously made me instantly drop my pants.
3. "I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little." After I rolled my eyes and walked away he came back up to me and said..."I'm sorry to bother you again but my ears are cold and I was wondering if I could use your thighs as ear muffs."
4. This one may be the best of the bunch...
I'm sitting with 15 people at a table outside of a bar yesturday. This random guy came up to the table, picks up a packet of sugar and then throws it so it hits me and then falls onto the floor and then preceeds to say "Hey I think you dropped your nametag, sugar." oh so creative and an added bonus was getting shit thrown at me.
Since there seems to be a horrible pick up line epidemic going around...I wanted to know what the best pick up lines you've ever heard/used are.
One of my favorites...
Okay, so you came over here to ask me to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know I'm giving you my number because you're too shy to ask for it. You finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married. You get a promotion, I get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. I really want kids, but you really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that you are resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now you work too much to keep up with the bills and have no time for me, I'm stressed and stop taking really good care of myself, so to get past our slow sex life and your declining self-confidence you turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. I find out because you're careless and a lousy liar, I throw you out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if I dance with you and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
that was fucking
that was fucking great.
today i was hit on by the earring man outside my apartment. he was pretty traditional...do you live in this neighborhood...yada yada. i dropped the "i was just with my boyfriend" line which was a mistake because it opened the door for him to bash him, mildly of course. i almost knocked him out when he said that i needed a man that would appreciate me....funny, thought that's what i was hinting when i mentioned my boyfriend with a big smile on my face. despite his disrespect, i bought 3 pairs of earrings (because they were cheap and gorgeous) and scooted out, relationship unscathed and with an invitiation to come back "anytime, sugar." yes, but this time my 6'3" boyfriend whom i adore will be escorting me.
I HATE being called
I HATE being called sugar....I feel like it sounds so degraging. Next time though, you should flirt back and try to get some free earrings.
Take things slow
'Hey baby why don't we just take things slow, maybe grab a cup of coffee, some anal sex, and see where things go from there!'
Not gonna lie...
I'm a totaly sucker for this one...
hypocrite : )
Kind of hypocritical of you to be making fun of pick up lines val when you use them on me every night. I mean I know I'm easy and you need sex from me every night and those lines you use really make me feel special, but don't make fun of other people for using them when you do it too. I'll see you in my bed later tonight hot stuff.
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