To the banes of my existence,
It's ok that I'm funnier than you. It's ok that I'm smarter than you. It's ok that I could beat you at any video game, sport, quiz, race, match, board game, challenge, IQ test, and lasso competition.
It's ok to be mediocre when compared to me. I understand.
However, this does NOT give you free reign to act like an idiot in my presence. Yes, stupid drunk girls who were handed everything their whole lives because their daddy had ambition (or their parents who handed everything to them), I'm talking to you. Stay out of my way or I'll be forced to insert my large phalanges up your puckered anal cavity until you scream out for assistance from your tight dirty mouth while wheezing through your nose-job.
Ok we get it. You don't have to try at ANYTHING. You don't have to read, you don't have to work, you don't have to wear normal clothes, and you certainly don't have to associate with anyone who might spoil your image as an over-priveleged "TV star." You might think I say these things because I can't get in your pants and I'm jealous (and you'd probably be right). That doesn't mean I think it's hard to get in your pants. Let's set two things straight
1. You are a bigger whore than your mouth can swallow
2. You have no real friends.
The only reason your friends hang out with you is because they are fat and insecure and need you to feed their brutally battered egos when they get rejected by every guy but you fuck three guys every night. Yes, even I would fuck you but it would be a hate-fuck more than anything. Your friends are an illusion and if you spent two minutes without a cock in your mouth you'd have some time to self-reflect and realize that you should play with the nuts more often. Go snort more cocaine and come back and read the rest of this article because I'm not done with you.
You finished o' princess of a major hotel chain?
Which reminds me of another thing. Why do you constantly wear clothes that label yourself as some variation of a modern day crack-whore. What the fuck does that pink shirt in glitter that says "princess" or "hottie" mean? If you are an heiress to a country, which is the actual definition of princess, why don't you state which country you plan to run when the throne is handed to you? Oh, I know, because you AREN'T really a princess. You just meant to say that you are better than all of us because you have money. I get it, now. Isn't that cute. You're fat.
Schematic of a princess:
God I love them so much.
[ the sound of silence ]
I want to say something. I know I do. It's really good too, and witty, and brilliant. But, my dear friend, I gasp for air because you have robbed me of my words with this one.
Haha, I guess that whole
Haha, I guess that whole "family atmosphere" we had going here just got shot to hell. What set that off?
Two things set me off
1. Ive been catching tons of flak for not being funny on this site.
2. I haven't had my prescription refilled so I haven't taken medication in over a week. Maybe I need to join scientology.
Funny huh? Well here's what
Funny huh? Well here's what I propose: Back at NJIT my friends and I would get bored in class and we'd decide to write a story. Someone would start a line or two and pass it on. The next person would read, but not alter the previous lines... hillarity ensued. There's a few ways we can accomplish this: You and I could do it via WC or email, or we can get a list of people that want to do it and send it along via email and post the final result here. For starters I say we do it on WC with comments and let anyone inject a line where they want... now we just need to pick a topic...
seriously...i hate paris
seriously...i hate paris hilton as much as the next intelligent being with any kind of rational for their existence....well said. but as funny as it is (because its true), there seems to be a bit of hostility here.
Uy Dave, you break too
Uy Dave, you break too easily. You should know by now--especially after working at an ad agency where you have to present your blood, sweat, and tears on paper only to have them ripped to shreds, or worse, changed and littered with fair balance--that you should never make excuses for your ideas. Delete the caveat. Your warped ideas need no excuse.
Love,
Your Omnipotent Editor In Chief.
GREAT SIGHT
So far one of our objects has been to underline the fact that right from the days of the Indus Valley Civilization down to the end of the Ghaznavid 70-290 dumps rule at the fall of the 12th century A.D. over a period of more than four thousand years, Pakistan has been invariably a single, compact, separate entity either independent or part of powers located to her west; its dependence on or forming part of India was merely an exception and that too for an extremely short period. It exam dumps was only when the Muslims established themselves at Delhi early in the 13 century A.D. that Pakistan was made a part of India, but not in the pre-Muslim period. And once Muslims’ successors in the sub-continent, the British, relinquished power in the middle of the 20th century, Pakistan reverted to its normal position of an independent country. Indian propaganda that the division of this sub-continent was unnatural and unrealistic is fake and fraudulent. Muslims had joined this region of Pakistan with India in the early 13th century A.D. when the Delhi Sultanate was formed; e20-001 dumps again Muslims have disconnected it from India giving it the normal and natural form which its geographical, ethnical, cultural and religious identity demande