Ten hours each way to Charlotte, North Carolina to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers play 3 songs at a Nascar Race rendered me and Monica utterly exhausted. Was it worth it, many have asked... to which we reply, "Hell Yes. We'd do it again in a heart beat." We met some bad ass people we hope to keep in touch with for many years to come; we rocked out 10 feet from Anthony Kiedis, Flea, John Frusciante, and Chad Smith; we actually attended a Nascar event, which is certainly something we never thought we'd say; and we come back to you with many a funny spoken word. Some you'll get, some you won't... Most likely, we'll just look crazy to you, to which we respond, "Fuck it. We are crazy."

With all that is going on in the world, hot button issues involving North Korea, Israel, Cuba, Iran, Iraq...etc. there is indeed a bevy of topics to ponder and discuss in my idle time.   Unfortunately, one item--one freakishly delicious news nugget--on the wires is so utterly baffling and terrifying that I can think of nothing else. 

After hearing so many negative things about my wonderful state of New Jersey, and with the government shut down, I can't say I blame too many people for thinking that, it was brought to my attention that it is good to be in a place where a lot is going on.  This past weekend I took some time away in Northville, NY (NY State) on a lake in the boonies.  Some of the craziest people are in these places.  I am at a farm stand in the middle of the 3 block town with my cousin and my aunt and the guy behind the ghetto fab stand is commenting on my cousins breasts.  I picked up a couple of canteloupes and he told me they lookes just like my "girlfriend's" (my cousin) breasts and should be funto play with......sick shit if you ask me.  I guess anything to prep me for my trip to West Virginia next week......  Then we have the wonderful comparative conversation full of one-upping each other.  This woman behind the counter of a local ice cream place was going at it with a woman and her daughter about who had the worst injuries and how they were done....punching windows to break into their home....knife through a deer carcass and into a leg....things of that nature........this woman's daughter was climbing on a collection of cars on blocks in their backyard ....a junkyard of sorts (so white trash) and fell through the windshield of one of the cars and cut her arm on a jagged piece of metal inside the car requiring 135 stitches........it kinda makes you wonder.  Oh yeah....another random thing....a house with a tree growing out through the center of it?!?!....interesting to say the least!

Liebeck v. McDonald's Corp.

I studied this case in my Torts class during my 1st year of law school. Don't be so quick to judge this woman before you know the facts of the case. The poor lady was 79-years-old. Her nephew pulled the car over so she could put cream and sugar in her coffee, after getting their goods from the drive-thru. She rested the cup between her legs as she pulled the plastic lid off of it, spilling it all over her lap in the process. She was wearing cotton sweatpants which absorbed the coffee and stuck to her skin for over 90 seconds. She suffered third degree burns all over her inner thighs and private parts.

this is redic.

a 14-yr old girl is suing myspace.com for $30 million bucks because a creepy guy told her that he was a HS senior who played on the football team.  (swoon)

and then apparently assaulted her, i dunno, the details were sparse.

You are standing in line, awaiting the bartender. You sit, you stare, you muscle your way to the front of the bar and you wave your money up and down like a retarded child on crack hoping to grab the attention of someone who is working hard and probably hates your guts. When the tender o' the bar comes up and asks what you want, you were so busy acting pissed that the bartender was taking so long, that you didn't even think about what drink you wanted. You end up walking back to your friends with two bud lights and your tail between your legs because you couldn't think of a drink quick enough. Sound familiar?

Oh, Britney. 

Sweet, loveable, white trash Britney. What has become of you? 

I have no difficulty whatsoever picturing her barefoot with blacked out teeth...she is so hillbilly its amazing.

I'm pretty busy at work, which is why I haven't had the opportunity to disseminate my wisdom to the world recently. Today is different though. Yes, I'm still busy at work. Yes, I shouldn't be doing this on company time. But this idea was too funny not to share.

It started when I signed in to myspace and saw some ridiculous bulletin headline that alluded to the fact that I would cry if I read the post. This immediately reeked of religious nonsense to me. Low and behold, it was! So I decided to repost the story that is supposed to "make you cry," on weird crap.

With one twist.

Any mention of the words Jesus, God, or Holy spirit, would be replaced with the words "smelly horse-farts."

Enjoy:

I've decided to let everyone have the ability to post to the front page of the site.. You've earned it. So as of now, all PAGES, BLOG ENTRIES, and FORUM TOPICS will all show up on the front page regardless of who posted them.

I know this is so yesterday's news (literaly), but in the vein of weird crap and moms I feel compelled to share this story.  So, the NY Times came out with an article yesterday about a new cell phone ring that is literally unhearable (word?) to adult ears.  The paydirt being that kids can recieve calls and texts during class unbeknownst to teachers.