Midtown, NY April 26 - Robert Toussaint and the Pew Hispanic Center have banded together and created a new workers union: 'Blamelessly Undermining Real Documented Emigrant Naturalization' (or BURDEN for short.) The announcement came from Toussaint's jail cell in mid-town.
 
"We are tired of being thrown in jail for breaking the law." Toussaint said, "I mean, laws are for right-wing nuts anyway. The TWU Local 100 has been called "criminal" simply because we broke the law, migrant workers are harshly called 'illegal aliens' simply because they broke the law, and so we have come together in a sign of solidarity and support. Are we criminals simply because we broke the law? No, of course not, that's just stupid."

Fred Jackman from the Pew Hispanic League had this to say: "There are currently 12 million people living here without a green card. 12 million! They can't vote or get a drivers license, and to top off the injustice they are called 'criminals' because they are seeking a better life for themselves. What ever happened to "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free?" I know that plaque was put up in time when the United States' population was 1/10th of what it is now, but c'mon! Take the sign down then if you don't mean it anymore."

The union, surprisingly enough, has no members yet. "We're not sure why no one has joined yet, but hopefully that will change with our new 'Blame Someone Else' initiative." Toussaint said, "The initiative is aimed at anyone who speaks out against illegal immigration and illegal strikes. We will label them as bigots and narrow minded fools who hate children, families, and America. But those who keep their mouths shut, say nothing, and let us complete our illegal actions in peace are truly our friends. And we need our friends in this dark time."

Opponents of the new union are understandably silent. One person (who wishes to remain anonymous) said "If I say that I think people who live here illegally are, ipso facto, criminals, then I am called a monster, or a xenophobe. Or If I say that the FDNY and NYPD don't have a contract, but still haven't gone on strike (because it would be illegal,) then I'm insensitive to the working middle class. And just because I oppose ILLEGAL immigration, doesn't mean I want to close America up and build great wall around it! My family emigrated to America in the 30's and had hard lives before making a living. I have many, many friends from Brazil who are fighting every day for their citizenship and the privilege of calling themselves American, but do you hear about them? No! I'm tired of being silent. I'm tired, tired tired." My thoughts exactly.